Best Pickup Lines

Are you my favorite sweater? Because I want to wrap myself up in you and feel cozy all day.

I'm an advocate for reducing waste. So why don't we skip the small talk, go back to my place, and get straight to wearing each other out?

Are you a list of my daily tasks? Because I'm not going to stop until I've done you.

I'm an expert in oral presentations. I'd love to give you a private demonstration sometime.

Are you a CVS receipt? Because you're unexpectedly long, and I have no idea what to do with you, but I can't throw you away.

Are you a typo? Because you’re everything I’ve been looking for, plus a little extra.

Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got 'I'm going to cost you' written all over you, and I'm willing to pay the price.

I'm trying to get into meal prep. Can I plan on eating you out for the whole week?

My favorite kind of exercise is a mix of cardio and squats. Coincidentally, my bed is the perfect gym.

Are you a dad joke? Because you're delightfully corny and I can't help but smile.

Let's play a game of 'what's for dinner'. Spoiler alert: it's you.

That outfit is amazing. I'd love to help you get it off after a long day.

Is your name Winter? Because you'll be coming soon.

Are you a soufflé? Because you've got my heart rising.

I'm not a scientist, but I think we're about to have a reaction that's more than just chemistry.

My doctor told me I'm running low on Vitamin D. Could you help me with my deficiency?

Are you a drum set? Because I want to bang you all night long.

Are you President's Day? Because you deserve a three-day weekend dedicated entirely to appreciating you.

Are you a charger? Because I'm at 1%, and you're the only thing that can save my night.

You must be a browser cookie, because I can't seem to delete you from my thoughts.