Best Pickup Lines

I'm an advocate for reducing waste. So why don't we skip the small talk, go back to my place, and get straight to wearing each other out?

I'm trying to be more eco-friendly, so I think we should shower together. You know, for the planet.

Are you a list of my daily tasks? Because I'm not going to stop until I've done you.

Are you a CVS receipt? Because you're unexpectedly long, and I have no idea what to do with you, but I can't throw you away.

I'm trying to get into meal prep. Can I plan on eating you out for the whole week?

Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got 'I'm going to cost you' written all over you, and I'm willing to pay the price.

Are you a typo? Because you’re everything I’ve been looking for, plus a little extra.

Are you a well-written essay? Because you've got a great introduction, a compelling body, and I'm dying to get to your conclusion.

My favorite kind of exercise is a mix of cardio and squats. Coincidentally, my bed is the perfect gym.

Are you a dad joke? Because you're delightfully corny and I can't help but smile.

I'm trying to be more responsible, so I have to admit something: I'm fully responsible for the awkward silence that's about to happen after I say hi.

Are you a bowl of spaghetti? Because I'm completely tangled up in you.

Let's play a game of 'what's for dinner'. Spoiler alert: it's you.

My favorite kind of math is division. Let's go to my place, subtract our clothes, and divide your legs.

Are you my browser history? Because I'm a little embarrassed by you, but I also can't look away.

That outfit is amazing. I'd love to help you get it off after a long day.

Are you from space? Because your beauty is out of this world, and I'm an astronot-gonna-lie.

My doctor told me I'm running low on Vitamin D. Could you help me with my deficiency?

Are you a soufflé? Because you've got my heart rising.

I'm not a scientist, but I think we're about to have a reaction that's more than just chemistry.